Logical Randomness

Ok so I actually have been meaning to write again since my last post. Clearly I was in a bad place when I wrote that. It happens. I'm not perfect. For the record I'm beyond find now.

I think what really got me was the ex moving on with another girl. I don't love him anymore but the idea of him with someone else just kinda makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, I still care about the guy...of course I do...he was my first and, to date, only love. After everything we've been through over the last 12 years logic says I should hate his guts but I don't. I don't think I ever could truly hate him. He'll always have a piece of my heart.

That being said I'm ready to move on but moving on doesn't seem to want me. Rejection is never easy and it's really easy to get swept off in the intense emotions of a crush. Once I had time to think about it I figured out that it truly wasn't that big of a deal and I got over it. There will be a chance to move on at some point. I'll be ready when it comes.

So if you've been following the podcast you know I've been all kinds of fail at updating it on time. I truly am sorry and I am going to try to be better. Work has been insane and I've gotten myself involved in so many web projects that it's hard to find time to get everything done in the timely manner I would like to.

This weekend's podcast is going to a wonderful mix of randomness...more than normal. Seriously, we started recording with no planned topics and ended up with an hour long show. I don't really know how we pulled it off but I like how it turned out. I hope you'll tune in and listen.

I also want to take a moment to promote another blog, http://comicboxcommentary.blogspot.com/ , this is an AMAZING blog for keeping up on all things Supergirl. All the latest Supergirl news can be found there along with some pretty interesting reviews. I highly recommend it to all Supergirl fans. There is a lot of exciting Supergirl news right now as she becomes more and more mainstream. As a massive Kara fan I am thrilled to see this.

And I think that's gonna wrap it up for me today. Thanks for reading.

KTF,
Cilla

For the Record: Rejection Sucks

Hey girls, here's a tip...don't bother asking guys out...well...if you're cute and sexy then go for it. If you're like me and you're just an average girl don't bother.

I asked out this amazing guy...which was my first clue it was a bad idea. Seriously, this guy was beyond amazing. He was a lot like my 'ex', not gonna lie...but like better. It's like...he made me feel important in a way Mr. Squirrel Boy never did...he made me feel like I mattered...he was easy to talk to...I could hold a conversation with him that was fun and intellegent. He was everything I've looked for in a guy (he wasn't horrible to look at either). So after hanging out with him a couple of times I asked him out. Guess what? I got the 'let's just be friends' speech again. FUCK! What the hell is wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not sexy? Is it the blonde ditz thing? Is there some massive flaw in my personality I'm unaware of? Seriously! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

To make matters worse Mr. Squirrel Boy has a girlfriend now. Sigh. He can get a girlfriend but I can't get a boyfriend...what is wrong with this picture? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I was happy being single...I truly was. I had found a comfortable place before this guy came along (I wasn't even wanting to fall for anyone!). That being said, Aphrodite, hear my plea...don't make me smitten for ANY ONE ELSE! Please just leave me alone. Don't send some other great guy to sneak up on me. I can't take much more.

Fuck. Sigh.