2015 Resolutions...

Another year has gone by and it's once again time to make those new year's resolutions! But first, let's review this year's and see how I did...

2014 resolutions:

~ Continue to lose weight. Get to a point I can wear whatever I want to comic con and in life without worrying about 'dressing for size'. (Dressing for body type is different).
(OK this didn't exactly happen but to be fair ending up in the hospital and being starved for 4 days threw me off. I'll get back on track)

~Continue to do things to involve myself in the comic fandom and gain JoF exposure along the way.
(SUCCESS!!! I scored JoF 3 panels at 2 different cons this year and one of them had over 100 people show up and stirred up massive debate about feminists and comics. I lost a bit of momentem here recently but it'll be easy to get back.)

~Do even more to chip into debt.
(Well this was a fail but medical bills threw me off so I'll let this one slide.)

~Do all I can to be a good, happy, and friendly person all year round.
(In spite of many personal trials I think I did this.)

~Have a killer 30th birthday party
(I did! Thanks to my bestie Sarah my 30th was epic!)

~Become more social
(By my standards I've been much more social so, yup.)

And now for 2015 resolutions:

~Get through school far enough that I can be student teaching by fall or spring.

~Advance in my job

~Get back on track with my eating habits and get back to getting healthy.

~Pay off my car

~learn to skate

~Meet a hockey player

~Try to advance the podcast and the JoF brand even more this year.

And there we go, let's check back on this in 365 days,,,

Open Letter to Greg Berlanti...

Dear Mr. Berlanti,

            I write this in hopes you will take a moment out of your clearly busy schedule to read it. My name is Cilla Hagle and I have been a fan of Kara/Supergirl since I was a little girl. To me Kara is the only Supergirl that counts (I try to forget Matrix and Linda happened). Kara is so meaningful to me...she was my hero growing up...she is a blonde that is powerful and strong, as opposed to ditsy and airheaded. To me she redefined what being a blonde meant, which meant so much to me. Where I grew up I was one of few blondes. I didn't look like everyone else, but I looked like Kara. She gave me a heroine to look up to for strength.

            I start with this story so it is fully understood how strongly I feel about Kara. When she returned to the DCU in 2002 I was beyond ecstatic. It was her return that got me to start reading comics and in turn introduced me to Stephanie Brown, Mia Dearden, and so many other characters that mean so much to me now. This is why when I heard Kara was finally getting her own TV show I was both thrilled and terrified. DC live action adaptations have left something to be desired in recent years, with the notable exceptions of 'Arrow' (it had a slow start I felt but now it has become must see TV) and 'Flash' (I question casting choices but the show itself is amazing). That is why when I found out you were behind Kara's show I felt a sense of hope. I also felt a sense of jealously because I know I will never be fortunate enough to be part of the creative team responsible for a project such as this. You are truly incredibly lucky to have your career and the opportunity to bring these characters to life.

            I must say, what I've heard so far in the press is promising! I will admit, I love the name Kara Danvers. While Kara Kent will always be my favorite identity for Kara I understand the need for separating her from Clark and using the Danvers name is brilliant. I love even more you stuck with Kara and didn't use Linda. Kara is Supergirl. I never liked her using Linda. It never fit her. She is Kara so thank you for keeping that name. I also love the idea of her being older and coming to terms with her being a hero. I can't wait to see her new origin play out. I'm truly looking forward to it.

 

            Now, if I may, I have a couple of suggestions because this may be the only way I ever have a chance to offer my insight. I know even if you read this you will likely disregard any ideas I offer, nevertheless I hope that maybe one or two resonate with you. feel free to use any of my ideas. I just want to see an amazing Supergirl show. I look for no credit. First, for casting Kara I hope you go with a girl that has an "All-American girl" look as opposed to something 'exotic'. To me Kara is a classic beauty. My dream would be to see Stephanie Gatschet in the role. She is ideal for Kara but Natalie Hall, Lindsey Bushman, or another girl with that general type of look would be great as well. Second, this is a great chance to bring other DC females to live action, like Stephanie Brown (who would best be played by Amy Gumenick...she can do Steph as a blonde and Carrie as a redhead...). Steph and Kara had great chemistry in the pre- New 52 books and I would love to see that on screen as well. Finally my ultimate dream would be to see Kara's love interest be Dick Grayson/Nightwing. Matt Bomer, who just ended his run on 'White Collar' would be ideal to play Dick. It would be so easy to separate him from the Bat Family too. Forget the Robin history. Have him just be Nightwing, a circus orphan dedicated to fighting crime. He could be a police detective by day and Nightwing by night. And Dick and Kara could easily become a power couple in every sense of the word with so much good story to tell. There is the human/alien aspect...can a human and Kryptonian find happiness? Can Dick let Kara in with his mission? I could go on for pages. Finally, Ellie Goulding's 'Lights' or a song with that general sound would make an amazing theme song...and I do hope there is a theme song for the show. It's the one thing 'Arrow' and 'Flash' lack.

 

            I have so many ideas but these are the main ones. I thank you for your time and hope you consider some of these. I love your work and I truly look forward to watching you bring my hero to life. I will be tuning in from day one and as long as Kara is on my screen I will support the show. Thank you for giving Kara life.

Sincerely,

Cilla Hagle

One Ticked Canadian

This was sent to me via e-mail by my mom who wanted me to spread it to the masses. After reading it, I agree, everyone should read this and take to heart the message. When did war become about the rights of the people trying to attack and kill us and our own? If you agree, please share. It's a message that should be heard.

 

One Ticked off Canadian Housewife

This is very good,.... PLEASE read....

Thought you might like to read this letter

to the editor. Ever notice how some people

just seem to know how to write a letter?

This one surely does!

This was written by a Canadian woman, but oh how

it also applies to the U.S.A. , U.K. And Australia .

THIS ONE PACKS A FIRM PUNCH

Written by a housewife in New Brunswick, to

her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady...

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was

it or was it not, started by Islamic people who

brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001

and have continually threatened to do so since?”
Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered

that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from

the capitol of the USA and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were

claiming to be tortured by a justice system of a

nation they are fighting against in a brutal Insurgency.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle

East, start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief

of which, is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are

sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head, while Berg

screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents'

in Afghanistan, come out and fight like men,

instead of disrespecting their own religion by

hiding in Mosques and behind women and children.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow

themselves up in search of Nirvana, care about the

innocent children within range of their suicide Bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that

their freedom of Speech on stories, is more important than

the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting

at home, to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a

CANADIAN soldier roughing up an Insurgent

terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the

head when he is told not to move because he

might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:

I don't care. Shoot him again.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food, that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe, in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes

it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.'

Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it.

I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to

all your E-mail Friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to

the people responsible for this ridiculous behaviour!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete

button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't

complain when more atrocities committed by radical

Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering, if

during their life on earth, they made a difference in

the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.

I have another quote that I would like to

share AND...I hope you forward All this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ
2. The British Soldier.
3. The Canadian Soldier.
4. The US Soldier, and
5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul,

the other four, for you and your children's Freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON,

AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET!

AMEN! GOD BLESS CANADA AND AMERICA!

And Open Letter to Gail Simone (Re: Kevin Sorbo and more)

Recently Gail Simone tweeted “Oh, Kevin Sorbo. Why do you exist?”

Considering Kevin is one of my greatest personal inspiration and heroes this irked me. Most of the time I ignore Gail’s incessant rambling, but this was posed as a question and one I think deserves an answer.

Ms. Simone, Kevin exists for a wide variety of reason. There is of course the shallow reasons…he’s beautiful and excellent eye candy…although given your distaste for women being eye candy I can only assume you feel the same about men…wouldn’t want a double standard right? So we’ll move on. Kevin has been through so much in his life and still kept going. During the time he was playing Hercules, a powerful demi-god, he was suffering intense medical issue and no one knew. He put on his best work for the fans and pushed through it. He has been a constant source of inspiration to me personally as I was diagnosed with liver disease last year and his victory in living a fit life has inspired me to take on my illness and live a healthier, fitter life as well. And that isn’t even to speak of the fact he’s a conservative in Hollywood of all places! Some of his opinions could get him blacklisted in that liberal town and he speaks his mind anyway. He’s intelligent and well thought…it’s refreshing to see a celebrity that hasn’t been brainwashed by the liberal media. Sure, sometimes I do disagree with him, not often but it happens…but that’s ok. He still has the courage to speak his mind. I admire that. Not to mention all the good he's done by sponsoring programs for kids to get fit and other causes. So there you go Ms. Simone. That is why Kevin exists…to inspire us through inner strength and courage. And if by some small chance Kevin is reading this, thank you. You will always be Hercules to me as you are truly a picture of heroism and strength.

Since we’re asking questions, I have one for you. Why do you insist on setting back the fight females are fighting to be taken seriously in comics? I try to have respect for what you do as at the core we have the same goal…our methods of getting there are different, but the end game is the same. Or so I thought. It is starting to seem you’re actually just setting my goal back. My goal is for woman to be heroic and still be themselves…their sexy, beautiful, powerful selves. You (and a great many of your supporters) nitpick every little thing you feel might even suggest a hint of misogyny to the point it makes all females a joke. A great and recent example is the latest Spider Woman cover that has caused such a stir. It’s a spider pose…she is Spider Woman. Duh. As for the sexual pose or whatever…it’s the perspective of the ‘shot’ and there is nothing wrong with it. It’s OK for a heroine to appear sexy if it’s within her character. Power Girl for example, you expect to see her using her sexuality as power. She may dress sexier than say, Barbara Gordon, who always relied on her brain power more. Both are realistic types of women and to suggest that any woman sexualized in comic is wrong is sending a very bad message.

Beyond that we are dealing with serious issues with feminism in comics, especially from DC Comics. If we, as women comic fans, fixate on every little thing the end result will be that none of our concerns will be taken seriously. We need to pick our battles and learn to let stuff go. Would you say that showing a shirtless male character was sexist? Unlikely. Then showing a female dressed in a sexy outfit or pose is not necessarily sexist either.

That said we have some clear issues with how women are portrayed in comics. The first that comes to mind is Starfire. She was sexualized beyond what her character ever was…her entire character did a 180 for the sake of sexualizing her. That is an issue. Certainly. Power Girl having a sexy costume, not so much. It’s well within character for her. There is nothing wrong with a beautiful women knowing she’s beautiful and using that to her advantage…that’s not sexist. That’s empowered.

I would also like to express that in my opinion the new 52 incarnation of Barbara Gordon is by far the weakest incarnation of her we’ve seen to date. Everything that made her a strong, self assure woman is gone. She is a shell of her former self and in no way the character I looked up to as a kid.

Personally, I like the Spider Woman comic. It’s sexy without being slutty…and that is empowering. I like Dinah Lance’s Black Canary costume. Again, sexy but powerful. I think we need to be sending the message that sexy can be confidence which can be power. And there is nothing wrong with that. We’re women. We’re prettier than men and but we can kick ass too. Embrace that. Don’t fight it. And not every negative thing done to a woman in comics is because she’s a woman. Sometimes she’s just the right character for the story.

In other words, if we want woman in comics to be treated equal, we have to treat them equal too. This is not happening and as long as women insist on calling a man out every time he draws a sexy character or tries to write a woman character that doesn’t fit some fictional ideal that we ourselves can’t obtain, nor would want to, we will never be taken seriously.

In closing, having Kyle find Alex in a refrigerator was essential to the story and gave Kyle the fire he needed to fight. It wasn’t misogynist, it was story telling.

Me? A Pushover?

For those of you that don't know I am in child care. I've been a toddler teacher for almost 3 years now and most of the time I love my job, I truly do. I wouldn't trade careers for most anything else.

I consider myself to be a fairly strict teacher, but I get results. My class is always full of happy and pretty well behaved toddlers. I always figured I would probably be the same kind of parent...that is pretty strict and no nonsense. Tears don't work on me. I didn't think so anyway.

My whole opinion of myself as a potential parent changed this past Friday when I babysat a little girl named HP. HP was in my class at one point for a short time and she and I really clicked. Sometimes you meet an abnormally special child that just steals your heart. HP did that with me. I love that little girl as if she were my own family. I think of here more as a little niece or cousin than just one of my former students. This is important because you need to realize that as much as I love all kids, HP is different. She's special.

When I was trying to get her to bed and she made her 'I'm about to cry' face it broke my heart. I laid next to her bed on the floor freezing my tail off for almost an hour so she wouldn't cry. In the end I gave in and we ended up on the sofa watching Disney Jr. I was a TOTAL pushover. I would never have let my students get away with doing that. They cry at naptime and I let them cry it out and go to sleep. Because logically I know that is the right thing to do. With HP logic did not factor in.

Am I going to be a pushover with my own child? I'm starting to question the type of parent I will be. I never would have guessed I'd be a pushover...but it turns out I am. Ms. Toddler Drill Sargent was turned to mush by big blue eyes and a sad face. Who would have thought?

2014 Resolutions!

Another year has gone by and it's once again time to make those new year's resolutions! But first, let's review this year's and see how I did...

~Get in shape before 2013 Comic Con. I dunno what I wanna cosplay yet, but I know I don't want my weight to dictate it again.

Considering I lost over 50 lbs I will finally call this one a success! Yes, it is because I had to but the specifics don't matter. Yes weight dictated my Comic Con costume but I looked damn good in it so I'm not gonna fret. We all gotta start somewhere.

~Chip into my own debt

I did this, not as much as I wanted, but I did. Baby steps. Mild success.

~Focus on my health, mental and physical, and better myself

Can we call this a success? I mean I did all this, but it wasn't until my health was screwy with liver disease.

~Do all I can to continue to make JoF the bigger and bigger

Consider I got us a panel at frickin Austin Comic Con I'll call this a success. We're still growing but that's ok. I took a damn big step.

And now for my 2014 resolutions:

~ Continue to lose weight. Get to a point I can wear whatever I want to comic con and in life without worrying about 'dressing for size'. (Dressing for body type is different).

~Continue to do things to involve myself in the comic fandom and gain JoF exposure along the way.

~Do even more to chip into debt.

~Do all I can to be a good, happy, and friendly person all year round.

~Have a killer 30th birthday party

~Become more social

And there we have it. Let's see how I do...

What Women Want (And Don't Want)

Unless you've been living under a rock (or are from my father's generation) you know what Kickstarter is. If you've been following the news you may have even heard the name Ken Hoinsky in relation to it. If not, quick recap...

Mr. Hoinsky put up a Kickstarter to fund a book titled "Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women". As a woman I have issues with that title in and of itself, but it pales in comparison to the controversy that followed.

This book is said to ultimately be a collection of material Mr. Hoinsky had posted on Reddit along with some new material. The scary part about this is the material that was taken off Reddit (Mr. Hoinsky has since deleted the questionable material but it has been archived by several sources).

Read this except and tell me it doesn't give you chills:

”5) Get CLOSE to her, damn it!
To quote Rob Judge, “Personal space is for pussies.” I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close! ”
“All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.”

“Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.”
“Sex
Pull out your cock and put her hand on it. Remember, she is letting you do this because you have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.”

(Thanks to Casey Malone for archiving this and getting the discussion started.)

Now, if that didn't give you chills...or at least pause, then it's time for you to sit and reflect in a serious way about your principles.

There are so many things wrong with that except from a female...nay...human perspective I don't even know where to start.

First of all, I am huge on my personal space...especially with someone I'm just getting to know. If we're on a date and you start closing in on my personal space uninvited I can almost assure you there will not be another date. It's enough to make a comment such as "you look nice tonight" or even the bolder "you're looking sexy". That lets her know you're into her and give her a chance to invite your advances. And if a guy I was with ever just pulled out his cock and put my hand on it uninvited I would pull away ask him what the hell he was thinking and that would be the end of the date. I would be calling a cab to get out of there. If he tried to stop me I promise you cops would be involved for sexual assault.

I know from experience I don't like this behavior. A guy I have been with in the past (who will remain nameless) didn't do this exact thing, but it was similar. Along the same lines. Now then, let me be clear, this is a guy I've known for years and even consider myself to love dearly. Even with those two factors in mind I did not like these forced advances and put an end to them quite quickly. Have we had sex in the past? Yes. But never when he tried to advance it in this way.

And now, men, here is the true secret to winning a woman over...

Let her know you want her, yes...make her feel desired. You do this with words. Preferably honest words. Half the time we question ourselves so much that it's nice to be reassured. Humans are insecure creatures and given societal expectations of women we have it worst of all. Tell the woman you're with that she is beautiful and sexy. Be straight forward in telling her what you like about her. Is it her eyes, her legs, her figure, her hair? Be specific. If things are going well it's doesn't hurt to flat out say you want her. Words are a huge turn on. From my experience men seem to be able to hop into enjoyable sex as if there's a switch that is flipped. Women need time to build the desire. Words get her mind in that mindset to proceed. If she is interested at this point she'll make it clear. Then, and only then should you start slow. Kiss her, caress her sides, continue telling her how sexy she is. She'll advance things with you. You don't have to do all the work here. Sex should be a mutual activity and it will be if you ease her into it.

I should take a moment here to also say if you're a guy and you only want sex, don't expect to end up with a long term mate of any value. Anyone that just wants sex and nothing deeper...well if you start to date this girl and she cheats on you for better sex, you have no one to blame but yourself. A relationship built on sex and seduction is doomed to fail (if it doesn't it's because something deeper formed out of it). And I will say, the second I get the feeling a guy just wants sex out of me and nothing more, he gets his walking papers and likely never hears from me again. Because, and here is a biggie, women like to feel like more than sex toys! We're not bed warmers...or cock warmers. We're actually people with feelings, thoughts, and opinions and we want to be your friend. Sure, we want to have sex too...but it's such a turn off to feel like little more than a living cock toy.

Now, Mr. Hoinsky claims to be quite good with the ladies. Does this mean he is in a meaningful, long term relationship? Or just that he gets laid a lot? I realize it's a matter of desire here. Some might just want to be laid. I, for one, am fine with a friends with benefits set up (emphasis on the 'friends' part of that). The problem here is the seduction aspect. Mr. Hoinsky touts being a master seducer. He then turns around and notes "You understand to your core that her heart will be broken if she ever feels manipulated by you". Note how he doesn't say 'Don't manipulate her'. Just that it will hurt her if she ever FEELS manipulated. Perhaps this is bad wording. Perhaps he said exactly what he meant. Either way it's bad advice.

Mr. Hoinsky did issue a lengthy statement to Forbes.com (which can be read here). It's a long statement and I find it to be talking around the main issues and not addressing the primary concerns. Beyond that Mr. Hoinsky is a self proclaimed seducer and appears to be quite good with manipulation too. Given the statement and the way it is presented I find it hard to buy it.

I would like to note I did send Mr. Hoinsky a message requesting an interview for JoF TV to set the record straight and get his side of the story in his words. I was perfectly willing to have this discussion with him and withhold judgment. His reply to my request: "Thank you for your feedback."

If he is reading this the invitation stands and remains so. You know how to reach me. If you change your mind about appearing on JoF TV, please, let me know and we'll set it up for you to tell your story.

Barring that, based on the facts I do have, I have only this left to say...men, regardless of your ultimate mission with women, treat us with respect, kindness, affection, and like humans and you will always get further than by being a forceful, misogynist pig.