Friendship...

So, before I get into anything else I want to take a moment to do a little self promotion. As I mentioned before I launched a new section of Uncharted Wind called 'Justice'. It's a series of fanfiction based in the DC Universe...or at least my take on it. Along with that I've created a LiveJournal. It's basically to show case my thoughts on both my stories and the happenings in the canon DCU. I've also posted little snipplets and ficlets I've written so check it out at http://twistedangl11.livejournal.com.

Now then, to today's topic...

Recently I had a falling out with someone I considered to be my BFF. This falling out happened...well it depends who you ask. From my perspective it was becoming increasingly clear that this friend, who I'll refer to as Em for the sake of privacy, was in need of help. Em was becoming more and more emotionally unstable and it was affecting various aspects of her life. Em didn't see it this way though...she saw the world as the issue, not herself. Now, I empathize with this because less than 3 short years ago I was in the same place. I know what it's like to be lost and need help. I know what it's like to feel like you're in the dark place there is no return from and that things will never get better. I've never made a secret about the trials I've gone through and the path to wellness I've taken.

I tried my best to empathize with Em and advise her on how to get the help she needs. Now, this is the most important part, you can't force someone to get help they don't want. I know this better than anyone but I had a lot of mutual aquantances telling me 'she needs help and you're her friend, you need to get her help'. Unfortuantly it doesn't work that way. I did everything I could do to convince her to seek help. I tried to lead by example, I tried to use my own experience to get her to see she wasn't alone, I did everything I could think of to get her the help she so desperaately needed.

In the end I guess I did push too hard. Maybe I wasn't as good of a friend as I should have been. It's hard for me to stand back and see someone in need of help and unable to do anything. And, truth be told, it's not easy to be around someone who is that far gone. The emotional rollercoaster and dramatics eventually becomes a lot to take and when you're around someone going through it you can't help but get pulled in to it. It makes me understand why so many people distanced themselves from me when I was going through my ordeal. Anyway, the point is that Em and I parted ways. Looking back I'm not exactly sure who ended it or if it was mutual. I do know that she said some very hurtful things at the end. She even accused me of only telling her she was taking an issue at work too far because it was making me look bad and I wanted a promotion.

For the record, yes, I want a promotion. I have never denied that. That being said I would also never but any job above the well being of a friend. Ever. It was hurtful and I think that was the intent...which hurt even more.

To be honest I don't know how Em is doing now. We haven't spoken since the fall out and she hasn't been at work. I can only pray she is getting the help she needs. And if she does someday need me I'll be there for her, but until that happens, or if it never does, sometimes the best thing to do it walk away.

I tell this story for that reason. If you know someone that needs help don't be afraid to speak up...sometimes being a good friend means saying those things that no one else will. Sometimes it will cost you your friend, but in the end you're doing a greater disservice by enabling their behavior. Sometimes it takes the harsh words to make a person stop and think. But also learn from my story that you can't force them to get help, you can only advise it. How they choose to move forward is up to them. And sometimes parting ways really is the best thing for all parties involved.

As the saying goes, "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."