Saturday, January 26, 2013

A Tale of Three Familes...

I've never made a secret about the fact my dad isn't my dad through biology. If you listen to Jackalopes of Fire you've heard Chuck and I joke that I adopted him. In many ways this is quite true. It doesn't matter though, in the end I have an amazing mom and dad that I love very much and that love me. That is not what this is about.

What this is about is the other side of that. I know there were other people in another camp when I chose to accept my dad as my dad and ultimately change my last name. That is my biological father and his family.

I don't speak much of them, but I do think of them, contrary to popular belief. In an ideal world that family would be able to separate my relationship with my biological father and my relationship with them. This is not an ideal world. I have had a couple of people that have been amazing and respected my decision and continued to have relationships with me anyway. These are the people I know truly love me for me and they mean the world to me.

The vast majority now treat me like a virus, as if by cutting out my bio father I was betraying them. This was never intended.

The reasons I made my decision aren't important for the purpose of this blog. They aren't secret so I'm happy to discuss it with anyone that asks me personal, but they don't need to be aired publicly either. What is important is that it is not a decision I made lightly. It took many years to finally reach the point where I knew with absolute certainty I was doing the right thing. It was never meant to intentionally sever my relationship with the entire family. It was only intended to sever my relationship with him. The rest of the family made their choice to take it personally.

Now, this doesn't mean I don't love them. And that is the true point of this entry. Even if I'm not there I still love many members of my family very much. Sure, some have really come down hard on me and it has made me feel fine that ties were severed because who needs that kind of criticism and drama in their life? Still, many of them I think of often. I have uncles, aunts, and cousins I have amazing memories with and simply adore to this day. If one called me up and wanted to grab dinner I'd be there in a second. I miss them. My sister and my niece love so much and I while I might have to watch my niece grow up via facebook, I think of her often and love seeing what a beautiful little girl she has become. I have another sister that I hope someday to find some common ground with and stop the hatred she has for me.

I say all this because it needs to be said and I hope someone out there can relate and know I relate to them. It's nice to know you're not alone, especially in an unusual situation like adoption (or in my case 'adoption'). It's a difficult and unusual place to be, but in the end you have to know you have parents and family that do love you and know that anyone that truly loves you, family, friends, or otherwise, will be able to separate you from the relationship you hold with other and judge you based on who you are. If they can't then you're better off without them. Know who you are be the best person you can be. Put out good and give love. Above all, remain dignified. If someone tries to bait you into an argument just walk away. It's not worth it and you won't change anything, you'll just feed it.

With any hard decision in life you will have naysayers and people that criticize. Be sure of who you are and what you do and know in your heart that you've done what is best for you. If you can do that, it may hurt some, but you'll get through it. This goes for anything...my situation, failed friendships, bullying, etc...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Listen to Jackalopes of Fire

If you haven't yet, do yourself a favor and go listen to my podcast at www.jackalopesoffire.com! You won't be sorry!

Matt Bomer for Dick Grayson

If you know anything about me you know I'm a massive Matt Bomer fan and I've been campaigning for years to see Matt Bomer play Dick Grayson/Nightwing in some capacity. That all said you might think the news that Bomer is voicing Clark/Superman would be thrilling to me.

You're be wrong.

But Cilla, you're a Bomer fan, you should be thrilled that he's doing a comic movie.

No, I shouldn't be. I specifically want to see him as Dick and this marks the third time he's been tied to Clark. He was originally considered for "Superman Returns" prior to Brandon Routh. He did play Clark in a Japanese car commercial that has since gone viral on YouTube. Now this. He is going to get so tied to Clark that all the idiot fan boys won't be able to see him as Dick thus he'd never be considered for the role.

Will I watch this new movie? Yes, I'm a Bomer fan and I'll support whatever he does. Hell, I even sat through a whole episode of Glee because he was in it...fucking Glee people! So yes, I'll watch it. Will I complain at every chance and probably campaign harder for him to play Dick? You betcha. I blame Andrea Romano for this. She does all the voice casting. Dear Andrea Romano, next time you need a voice for Dick use Bomer. Just saying.

That said, next time you are bored and feel like tweeting something for the greater good simply tweet #MattBomerforDickGrayson. Together we can make it trending and get through to DC. Matt Bomer was born to play Grayson and this needs to happen.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Why I Don't Need a Man...

Why is it that people think a woman needs a man in order to be happy? I can't count the number of times I've said I was single and got sympathy in response. Why? Personally I feel sympathy when someone is in a relationship, but that's me.

Personally I truly enjoy being single. I don't have any relationship drama, I have no one to answer to, I have no one to bitch at me about not spending enough time with him, my time outside work is my own. I love that.

I mention all this because it happened again yesterday. A co-worker asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I said no she asked if I was talking to anyone. When I said no again she was sympathetic. When I explained it was by choice and I didn't want a relationship she acted as if I was full of it and was trying to convince myself of this because I was alone.

Why is it so damn hard to believe a woman can have a fulfilling and satisfying life without a man? Honestly, why do I need a man? Sex? Warmth on cold nights? A dildo and an electric blanket do the same with less hassle.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying I would never be in a relationship if one happened to happen. I'm just saying I'm happy without a guy and I don't need one. It doesn't matter if a relationship comes along or not. I'm happy with my life either way. I don't feel I'm lacking something by not having another person by my side. I find it offensive people act like I'm an incomplete person because I don't have a mate.

Newsflash, I am a complete person and if I find another complete person to share my life with then that is fine. If not I will be complete regardless. Why is this such a fucking hard concept to grasp?

You women out there that think you need a man and aren't happy if you're single are weak, pathetic, and frankly an embarrassment to the female gender as a whole. You are the reason men think they can treat us like shit and we'll come back for more...because you do! You women are the ones with the problem. Not me. Find out who you are, be single, be happy with your life, then find a mate if you want. Otherwise you're just a shell of a person without your own identity and you're a pathetic excuse for a woman.